HOW TO COOK THE CORRECT AMOUNT OF PASTA:

sarcastic-sanity:

1. Pour out how much you think you need.

2. Wrong.

(via lsdzeppelin)

agentwoshington:

agentwoshington:

ok but there was a bus filled with potatoes driving around my town today

image

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(via aanubis)

hikari-the-human:

my avocado don’t

(via the-pietriarchy)

dermythosdessisyphos:

wewillavenge-it:

nickiminiall:

isn’t it weird that we pay money to see other human beings?

Are you talking about prostitution, the movies, or airplane tickets?

glasses

(via 1nd2rd3st)

l1berum:

there is a huge difference between genuinely liking someone and liking the attention they give you and it took me a long time to realise that

(via fake-mermaid)

sexhaver:

impossiblycastiel:

Steal His Look: Shrek
Lagar Conne Row Ismenia top ($1,390) Isabel Marant Atkins vest ($4,200) Basil Rib wool blend tights ($50) Marsell Suade lug boots ($1,090) Ralph Lauren crocodile belt ($1,950)

When the low heavy sky weighs like a lid on the spirit, aching for the light
and when embracing the horizon it pours on us a black day which is sadder than any night
When the earth is turned into a dripping dungeon in which hope like a bat flutters blindly
and bruises its timid wing and tender head against the walls and rotted ceilings
When the rain stretching down its long streaks of water imitates the bars of an enormous prison
and a silent throng of loathsome spiders come and weave their webs inside our brains
and suddenly the bells swing angrily, and hurl their hideous uproar into the sky like a band of wandering spirits, who wail relentlessly
and long hearses without drums or music move in a slow procession through my soul
and defeated hope bursts into tears
and the fierce tyrant, Anguish, sets his black banner on my bowed head
freshcleanfit:

In other news, this is one of my favorite Twitter happenings to date. 
carlsagan:

unclepolymer:

Pusheen the cat making some chemistry.

That cat is not wearing safety goggles, he hasn’t even bothered to clean up that spilled solvent, and he is holding that Erlenmeyer flask way too close to his face.
Pusheen the Cat, more like Pusheen the limits of lab safety

hennyjones:

heavenlypost:

can the united states just chill for one day

Nigga the USA hasn’t chilled since fuck boy Chris sailed his ass here by mistake

(Source: naho-tan, via vlnska)